What a Dancing Kenyan says About Obama’s Birth Place

Here’s the story of how a Kenyan teenager woke me up from my slumber. All the right-wing propaganda had gotten to me, but then I got to the truth, almost. Here is how it all happened. I a pretty susceptible guy and had started to believe in the theories stating that Obama was really born in Kenya. I really thought it was the end of America as we know it. I didn’t know what to do until a great idea came to me. As a Hispanic man, I knew I could figure out if Obama was an American or not by deconstructing the way he dances.

First, I looked at how he danced at the Ellen DeGeneres Show. It quickly became apparent to me that Obama was not an American. He moved up and down and from side to side. No American president had ever shaken his booty in that manner before. He must be a foreigner, I thought. He dances like an African man.

Obama’s visit to the Ellen DeGeneres Show was before he became president. I wanted to see how he had changed once he became president. My feeling was that, once in office, Obama would relax and his Kenyan nature would become even more apparent. In my research I came upon a gem: Obama dancing right next to Mexican singer Thalia. My theory proved correct. He seemed more relaxed and looked even less American.

At this point, I was ready to make my finding public and let everyone know that our president was clearly not an American. But a doubt came over me. Judging by the way Obama moved to Latin music one could conclude that…maybe Obama was really Dominican or Cuban and that the whole Kenyan thing was a put forth as a distraction. Something was for sure. The “birthers” were right

Or so I thought. As the rigorous investigator that I am, I decided to look at yet another dancing video, only this time it wasn’t Obama. I found a video of a Kenyan teenager dancing. And so I had my epiphany. I compared and contrasted Obama’s moves to those of the Kenyan teen. The teen put Obama to shame. Thus, clearly, Obama was not from Kenya. Simple, clean, logic.

I can’t say for sure whether he is American or from the Caribbean, but he ain’t Kenyan. That, I know.